Vacation advice! Leaving my tanks to my clueless room mate...

[fido19]

here's what you need to do billy(your name is billy right, well it is now)
first thing you need to do is buy a desert eagle( preferably gold in color)
now prepare a nice diner(you have a girlfriend,get her to cook), now invite your room mate to dinner and have a few laughs and share some stories.
now billy this is where it gets interesting, you tell your girlfriend to leave and then you pull out the desert eagle and put it on the table (if you were wearing shades while having dinner, pull em out in style). now tell your room mate that you are going to paris (whats that you are going to mexico, well you changed your plans).
Billy explain to your room mate that maintaining your tank is a serious buisness. now in style slide him a paper that has all the instructions (make sure they have pictures on them). tell him to follow it down to the last letter. put contact details all of them (mother,father,sister,brother,priest,dog,cow). explain to him in a deep tone that you have a certain set of skills that you are prepared to use on him if he doesent keep your tank in order.
once all this is done get up put your shades on and walk away (it would be preferable to light a smoke at this point for further effect)
alternatively you can just higher a guy for a month to do your tank cleaning, plenty of stores offer a cheap one month deal