Getting tired... Considering shut down

[SeaHorse_Fanatic]

Well, some experienced reefer friends with kids told me that before my first girl (Felicia) was born, get the tank all ready to survive on auto-pilot for 6 to 9 months. I did some big water changes and then yeah, it took us about that amount of time after the baby was born to catch up on the maintenance and stuff again. Recently, went for about a year's sabbatical where my tanks were just maintained (even regressed) and I ended up downsizing. Eventually, several months after the 2nd baby, my interest peaked again and I have been back at it hard and heavy.

Based on my work schedule, I do 50-100g (1 or 2 barrels) water changes every 3 months or so. I'm getting out of sps and going mostly LPS which are happier with the water quality I maintain than most sps. Ultimately, I will probably just have a big purple valida/bonzai-type acro and a red cap as my main sps and everything else will be LPS and softies. I try to keep my system reasonable simple and low maintenance. Got a good skimmer (SWC Extreme 200) that pulls out lots of gunk but upgrading to a Deltec Recirc so that will do an even better job IMO.

So, yeah, its hard to balance a very busy life but your kid will love the tank, so maybe sell off your most finicky livestock (particularly sps) and if it gets too busy and you have a good skimmer, its should NOT be too bad to extend the time between water changes. I've gone up to 9 months when my first was born.

Downsizing is an option, but it sounds like you don't have the time or energy to do something major like that.

Congrats on your first. My kids are the best part of my life (Irene feels the same way so I'm not in trouble for posting this). Lots of work, lots of lost sleep, but wouldn't give the chance to be a dad for anything.

Peace,

Anthony

[Nano]

All I have to say is if you shut down you shut down. but make sure you stay active on here, cause we need all the great info a piece of mind that comes from experienced users like you

All the best, hope you find a way to make it work

Ken

[paddyob]

Man. I really appreciate some of the comments you guys have made. I know sometimes I can be vocal and cheese you guys off, but thanks. Thanks for a glimmer of hope my tank might survive a baby.

Makes a crusty day a little better.

Not sure yet. But lots To consider.

A tad depressed about the thought of shutting down. You guys really made my day with some great input.

Thanks. You have no idea what it actually means. I do t know most of you personally, but I spend more time on here with you guys than a lot of others in my life. Reef nerd I am.

But really, thank you.

[Aquattro]

Not sure if you read my random thought speil about kids. We had a daughter, premature by 3.5 months, spent the next 168 days at the hospital, going home occasionally to feed the fish and four dogs, house/yardk work, etc. She, Elise, has paralysed vocal chords and breaths through a trach tube. We have to do daily maintenance for this, as well as learn and teach sign language. Since she came home, we've had a nurse in-house every evening to help out and make sure she keeps breathing.
I also have to keep the dogs busy, 2 border collies, and aussie and a pitbull. That's a lot of work. We're both involved in various dog sports, which take a fair amount of time.
Through all this, I've been able to keep the tank going, and often the tank is the thing that lets me chill at the end of the day. Keeping the tank comes down to "where there's a will, there's a way". I'm glad I have my tank, even those weeks I don't see it with the lights on. IMO, well worth the extra effort. Unless you're totally sick of corals, you'll miss it more than you hate it now
And a small little child isn't going to disrupt your life unless you let them...

[paddyob]

I love my tank. My wife evens says more than the people around me.

It just worries me it will become a nightmare tank. Three Aiptasia stress me now. One that is taken down out of neglect is not what i want.



I never read your post before. Sorry things. Are not easy in the respect of your baby.

We were told our baby had a chance Of downs syndrome back in the beginning. And I guess it kinda hit me. Or crushed me. Things look ok in the pics now, but you never know until you meet them.

Maybe I am just having some anxiety. We all want the best and maybe i overplan for the worst.

Thanks for sharing.

Originally Posted by Aquattro

Not sure if you read my random thought speil about kids. We had a daughter, premature by 3.5 months, spent the next 168 days at the hospital, going home occasionally to feed the fish and four dogs, house/yardk work, etc. She, Elise, has paralysed vocal chords and breaths through a trach tube. We have to do daily maintenance for this, as well as learn and teach sign language. Since she came home, we've had a nurse in-house every evening to help out and make sure she keeps breathing.
I also have to keep the dogs busy, 2 border collies, and aussie and a pitbull. That's a lot of work. We're both involved in various dog sports, which take a fair amount of time.
Through all this, I've been able to keep the tank going, and often the tank is the thing that lets me chill at the end of the day. Keeping the tank comes down to "where there's a will, there's a way". I'm glad I have my tank, even those weeks I don't see it with the lights on. IMO, well worth the extra effort. Unless you're totally sick of corals, you'll miss it more than you hate it now
And a small little child isn't going to disrupt your life unless you let them...

[Nano]

I hear ya both. We are expecting a little girl in early may late April, and while we haven't heard of any complications with her specifically, my wife is no longer able to work from her own complications being pregnant, and because of her complications the baby is at risk too. So I work clean cook take care of the pets etc. It's a lot to take in. Especially at my age. I'm still a young buck so its a bit nerve racking at times, but at the end of the day I sit and look at the fish for a few, and see my family and what we've made together, and its all worth the work

[Aquattro]

Originally Posted by paddyob

I never read your post before. Sorry things. Are not easy in the respect of your baby.

I guess my point is this. Things are easy. We make them easy. We have stuff to deal with, and we just do it. There's no going back or changing, so enjoy the ride. And the tank for me is part of the ride.
Regardless of what happens, life is what you make it. Don't let a bit of anxiety throw you off. It's going to be as easy or as hard as you make it. We took ours to Costa Rica in December, we had a fabulous time. Sure, it presents some challenges, but you just get it done. She's a perfect kid, and whether your kid is perfect or not medically, they'll be perfect to you and you just do what you have to do.

[bignose]

Pat shut up and give your head a shake! If I don't have someone else to do this hobby with I'm gonna quit too.

edit. I didn't read the whole thread. I hope I'm not being insensitive.

I have a little ones also don't worry Pat everything will be ok. When you hold your baby for the first time you will be high on life and you will understand.

[paddyob]

Originally Posted by bignose

Pat shut up and give your head a shake! If I don't have someone else to do this hobby with I'm gonna quit too.

edit. I didn't read the whole thread. I hope I'm not being insensitive.

I have a little ones also don't worry Pat everything will be ok. When you hold your baby for the first time you will be high on life and you will understand.

Leave it to Jason to lighten the mood. Lol.

[bignose]

Did you shake your head?
If you have the need to lighten the load I would shut down your nano.

edit Pat if you ever need help with your tanks or anything really just let me know.