How can you make it through....:(

[skabooya]

Last night was awful. One of our close family friends lost their daughter. She was not a year old yet. She was a twin, leaving behind her brother and an older brother. It was so fast an unexpected. In less than 8 hours she went from being a healthy normal baby to death. It was meningitis. How can anyone get over a shock like that.
Everyone is devastated. I cried so hard for them. My soul ached for them. My husband and I slept with our baby monitor close to hear our daughters breathing. We checked on our son and daughter often. I can't imagine and I don't want to imagine looking around the house and seeing all those empty chairs, toys, bed and broken routines.
I have been through a few very hard family deaths (my dad and grandmother especially) but they were adults and we knew they were sick. This was a total shock.
I feel so guilty that today I get to take my kids to 2 Christmas parties to see Santa and our friend has lost that right with one of her kids. No first Christmas, first steps, first birthday and all the other first milestones.
How do you make it through something like that.
I know you do it because you have to go on but oh my gosh. :**(

[Proteus]

Very sad to here.
We almost lost our son at birth. I still worry even though he is 4. I had to tell my wife what was happening as he was rushed to another hospital. She never saw him for two weeks as she hemmoaged and had to stay in hospital. It was a trying time
Myself I had meningitis at 15. A very hard thing to diagnose


So sorry for there loss

[Leah]

Heartbreaking!! Unbelievabily horrible for them...could never imagine anything worse.

[Coralgurl]

So very sad and hard to understand. I lost a friend to menegitis, he was 19, we had been friends since grade school. His mom was a nurse and thought he had the flu. By the time he got to the hospital, it was too late. I myself cannot imagine losing a child and this just breaks my heart for you. Your friends need you, even if it's just to sit and cry, but they need you. God bless!

[IanWR]

Your feelings of shock and guilt are not at all unusual. Grief can manifest in a variety of ways, and will take some time to play out. The best advice i can give is to not try to turn off your feelings, but cry when you can. Be there for your friends and don't be afraid to reach out to them in the weeks and months ahead. Death is not something our culture handles very well, so often we avoid talking about it for fear of offending.

It is this kind of shocking tragedy that cuts so deeply, and really tests our beliefs. If you are a person of faith, hopefully this experience will help bring you closer to the ultimate. If you are without a spiritual dimension, tragedy like this can help remind us to appreciate each and every moment we have as they are all so fleeting.

For all of us this is a reminder to connect with those in our lives and not be afraid to share how we feel. Hug your kids, tell dad you love him, call that friend you miss, be nice to strangers around you. Our time is all so short, it would be a shame to miss it.

My thoughts and prayers will be with everyone touched by this sudden and tragic passing.

- Ian

[Dearth]

When a child dies it's the worst feeling in the world and regardless of the circumstances of their passing there is no way to describe the feeling of loss all you really can do is be there for moral and mental support. You go through anger, denial and eventually acceptance and it takes time just be there for them.

[skabooya]

Thanks all. We are all still speechless. Its like it was all a bad dream because it happened so fast, but then it comes back that what happened was very much real.

[SanguinesDream]

You can never get over the loss of a child. They will be broken as people for the rest of their lives. But they will find a "new normal". Our marriage is still on life support after the loss of our babies born too soon.

What Ian said +1,000,000 with the added suggestion that they speak with a counselor to process and continue communication.

As a friend, please read the list of what not to say to parents who have lost a baby. There are lots of things that people say as well meaning but are truly horrific. Provide meals, a welcoming shoulder to cry on and listen and never leave the little one out in conversations for fear of hurting them. The most hurtful thing for a parent who has lost a child is for the world to forget/move on like their child didn't exist. Honor the little ones' memory.

[SeaHorse_Fanatic]

This is the worst thing in the world for parents, to out live their children. I am heartbroken and must type through my tears even though I do not know them. Our prayers and hope for some peace this Christmas holiday without their little one for the whole family.

Anthony, Irene, Felicia & Isabella

[Doug]

100% agreed.. Its something that one never gets over but learns to live with...somehow.

Do not exclude the deceased from their conversation as you said. Listen to their story and listen to what they want to tell you about their loss and their loved one.

There is no time limit on grieving. People dealing with a loss of a family member, need others to listen, hug and cry with them, and try understand.

Plus many grieve in different ways and that also needs to be understood.

My thoughts and prayers are with them.