Legal Help...PLEASE!!!

[mark]

any thoughts of getting back together once things cool down? Might guide how you approach things.

[my2rotties]

I didn't mean anything bad by what I said... I can say if my husband did this for as long as you did, I prob would have felt inclined to do the same thing. If you are living with this woman, and in a relationship, you can't have "party mode" and her at the same time, unless she is invited to party with you

If I were you, I would be butt kissing, sending flowers and apologizing a whole lot. I am not condoning her keeping your belongings, since that is just as immature as you have been during the Stampede. I don't know how much older she is then you, but if you are living with her and stuff, it is a more serious relationship. I guess you have to decide if you really want to settle down into a relationship or be in party mode. How old are you anyways, if you don't mind me asking?

If you have a dog, you still do need a lot of responsibility in keeping him happy and you do have to give him stability and guidance. You can't be out all night partying when your dog is at home alone. Your dog only has YOU and YOU are his only source of company and friendship. I guess this is why your ex decided she should keep him, since it was her that was stuck with the responsibility while you were partying. I have had dogs since I was 19 years old, and although I went through party mode with hubby (was with him since I was 21 and he was 19), the dogs were always first and foremost in priorities.

I'm not trying to bust your chops (I am sure they have been busted up enough), but doing a week long party thing without her, is really rotten. You really did ask for it in the end. She should give you your stuff back, and you are right, once she cools down, approach her for it again.

You cannot expect her to have to live with this inconsiderate behavior, no matter how old you are. You were sleeping in her bed, and playing house, which means she has the right to have expectations from you. Sorry if I am being blunt but I can't sugar coat it for you. Good luck with whatever happens and I do think you are entitled to your stuff. Just leave a note and say how sorry you are things didn't work out between you, and she deserves better then what she got from you. Take full responsibility for your actions and lay the blame on yourself. She might come around sooner if you don't give any excuses.

Originally Posted by KennyKen

Do you want to know what i did?
I am the younger person in the relationship and am in quote "party mode", and have no real aspirations in life.
So she wanted me to change, this was at the beginning of stampede, when 2 of my best friends had arrived into town from Toronto and i had stumbled home at 5 am.....
So 5 days later i was still in "party mode" as it was the final weekend of the pede when i cam home around 2 am friday to a bag packed and a note saying "Here is bag, leave"

And believe me im not leaving anything out of "bad" stuff i have done....
She has been a real bull on this.

[sphelps]

Sorry but I know my gf wouldn't mind if I went partying for a few days because old friends came into town. She might not be too thrilled inside but wouldn't stop me from going or kick me out as a result, provided I didn't do anything really bad . You can't base a relationship on hoping or trying to change the other person, that's not how it works so IMO she was in the wrong and you don't owe her anything. By the sounds of things she sounds fairly manipulative, immature and only happy if she gets her way. She obviously wasn't ready for a real relationship and perhaps you weren't either so lets all move on

[my2rotties]

True enough, but each any every person is different. I don't know the whole take on the relationship BUT I gave him the worst case scenario. I know well enough that you have no right to try to change someone else. I have been with my husband long enough to know it is easier to change yourself to accept certain things in your mate, rather then fight them to be what you want. However, there is also meeting in the middle, and a whole entire week of partying all hours of the night and coming home drunk, is not meeting in the middle either. There has to be some consideration towards someone else's feelings in the end. I am not condoning what she did, but I am also not going to take the poster's side since I feel he really has no regard for her feelings at all. Using the excuse that he has no aspirations in life, shows he is not taking any responsibility. I bet he did not call her to say he would be out all night or tell her anything at all.

Originally Posted by sphelps

Sorry but I know my gf wouldn't mind if I went partying for a few days because old friends came into town. She might not be too thrilled inside but wouldn't stop me from going or kick me out as a result, provided I didn't do anything really bad . You can't base a relationship on hoping or trying to change the other person, that's not how it works so IMO she was in the wrong and you don't owe her anything. By the sounds of things she sounds fairly manipulative, immature and only happy if she gets her way. She obviously wasn't ready for a real relationship and perhaps you weren't either so lets all move on

[sphelps]

What are you talking about? He came home at 2am the one night

All kidding aside good relationships are all about compromise but a young guy should have every right to party with his friends during the stampede, the compromise could have been something he would do after the stampede and his friends are back out of town. It seems blatantly obvious she didn't give, just took saying my way or the highway.

[michika]

Originally Posted by KennyKen

Do you want to know what i did?
I am the younger person in the relationship and am in quote "party mode", and have no real aspirations in life.
So she wanted me to change, this was at the beginning of stampede, when 2 of my best friends had arrived into town from Toronto and i had stumbled home at 5 am.....
So 5 days later i was still in "party mode" as it was the final weekend of the pede when i cam home around 2 am friday to a bag packed and a note saying "Here is bag, leave"

And believe me im not leaving anything out of "bad" stuff i have done....
She has been a real bull on this.

Thats it? Seriously? Yeah, like others have mentioned, cut and run! Take your puppy and run far far far away! If she reacted like this over friends in town for the Stampede, what else will she react over, and how far would it go in the future? I party all the time, frequently until dawn the following day. Its never been an issue. Then again relationships are unique. Although I still stand by my recommendation, based on the provided information, that you just chalk it up to a bad experience and move on.

Just go straight to the cops for an escort to your own property to get your stuff. Do it during the day like mentioned to avoid the interactions that might come in the evening.

Any luck on a new place?

[my2rotties]

Well my best advise on his behalf to his ex girlfriend is if you can't beat him, join him

I hate the bar Cowboys very much, but I have gone the odd time to party with the hubby back in the day. He would invite me often for club nights and I would opt out sometimes, but the invite was there, so I couldn't get mad. I know he knew I would say no anyways and he had FREEDOM

What did **** me off is when he would roll in at 5am... without calling. He had a reputation for fighting and I would always wonder if he was in jail or emergency. I also did not like the fact that he may drink and drive or his buddies would do the same and get in an accident. Sometimes a group of guys does not have the best judgment in party mode.

In a relationship there is a certain warfare that comes along with meeting in the middle, but it is different with every person and relationship. Sometimes you need to know how to trick your significant other into thinking certain things were their idea in the first place That comes with time, age and experience, which the poster admits by his part mode comment he does not have just yet.

Man, I could tell you so many stories...

Originally Posted by sphelps

What are you talking about? He came home at 2am the one night

All kidding aside good relationships are all about compromise but a young guy should have every right to party with his friends during the stampede, the compromise could have been something he would do after the stampede and his friends are back out of town. It seems blatantly obvious she didn't give, just took saying my way or the highway.

[my2rotties]

Just like you said, relationships are unique. I don't know how much older the ex girlfriend is in this case, and she may have bitten off more then she could chew. I agree he should get out of the relationship, since it is clearly not what both people are looking for out of it. Sometimes we learn about the significant other through the mistakes we make...

So long as he cares for his dog properly while he is out partying, then I don't think it is such a bad thing. Like I mentioned before, the dog has nobody else but him for attention.

Originally Posted by michika

Thats it? Seriously? Yeah, like others have mentioned, cut and run! Take your puppy and run far far far away! If she reacted like this over friends in town for the Stampede, what else will she react over, and how far would it go in the future? I party all the time, frequently until dawn the following day. Its never been an issue. Then again relationships are unique. Although I still stand by my recommendation, based on the provided information, that you just chalk it up to a bad experience and move on.

Just go straight to the cops for an escort to your own property to get your stuff. Do it during the day like mentioned to avoid the interactions that might come in the evening.

Any luck on a new place?

[KennyKen]

Well here is the deal now. Im borrowing a truck and getting all my stuff out tomorrow evening....granted she lets me in.
I am 24 and she is 27, and the invite to go out with me is ALWAYS there, she is just really introverted opposed to myself, being extremely extroverted.

As for reconciliation, that appears to be out of the question. If can she just flip a switch like a reset button and complely forget about our history together, its not worth trying to start over again.

The next step is uncertain. Im staying at friends right now that has 2 dogs (one of them being a bulldog) and there is always someone home, when i am not. But as for a long term stay, this is not. SO for the time being this is a good spot for me.

Im looking for a place with another friend, but im not gonna wait to long on that either. If i have not found a place by the middle August, im moving back to Toronto to live with my brother.

By the way, anyone have any connections with uhaul or a moving company. I enquired about renting the smallest cube truck from uhaul for the trip and the quote was $2900...but the guy liked me so much he said he would drop it too 2800$, LOL
I dont have much to move at all, 6 or 7 boxes, a tv and a 90g tank and stand (im keeping my equipment if i do move there as everything is over priced out there)

[my2rotties]

Well at least you know early you guys are just not right for each other. Better now then after having children and all the other stuff. At least you invited her out with you. I didn't like the club scene but once you drink enough, all the inhibitions go away quickly

Don't waste you time trying live up to expectations you know you are not ready to live up to right now. At least the pup is taken care of and he was my biggest concern. We as people can care for our needs, but dogs are stuck with what we provide them. Good for you for looking out for him.

I don't know if it would be cheaper to put your stuff on a Greyhound bus or something, since you don't really have all that much. I would also put an add on Calgary Kijiji seeing if anyone is driving out to your destination and if they have space for you and your stuff perhaps for a part of the travel expense. It is worth a try. Sometimes people are needing a person to drive or deliver a vehicle to other provinces so look out for that as well. Uhaul sure tried to bend you over, and after the week you had, you need a break.

Do you have the pup with you now? I am glad you at least were able to get him in the negotiations. Good luck with everything and the Stampede is notorious for being a relationship ender. I think there was something in the newspaper about it

Originally Posted by KennyKen

Well here is the deal now. Im borrowing a truck and getting all my stuff out tomorrow evening....granted she lets me in.
I am 24 and she is 27, and the invite to go out with me is ALWAYS there, she is just really introverted opposed to myself, being extremely extroverted.

As for reconciliation, that appears to be out of the question. If can she just flip a switch like a reset button and complely forget about our history together, its not worth trying to start over again.

The next step is uncertain. Im staying at friends right now that has 2 dogs (one of them being a bulldog) and there is always someone home, when i am not. But as for a long term stay, this is not. SO for the time being this is a good spot for me.

Im looking for a place with another friend, but im not gonna wait to long on that either. If i have not found a place by the middle August, im moving back to Toronto to live with my brother.

By the way, anyone have any connections with uhaul or a moving company. I enquired about renting the smallest cube truck from uhaul for the trip and the quote was $2900...but the guy liked me so much he said he would drop it too 2800$, LOL
I dont have much to move at all, 6 or 7 boxes, a tv and a 90g tank and stand (im keeping my equipment if i do move there as everything is over priced out there)