Random Thought Thread

[Proteus]

^^^^. Exactly. Follow through and be consistent. Both my kids will challenge me because mom gives in. It's funny to see the difference when I'm home or me and mom are home.

[SeaHorse_Fanatic]

Yes, I'm a firm believer in follow through too. If you "threaten" your child with some dire consequences for bad behaviour, follow through. Otherwise they learn that you're a pushover and that you are all talk and no action. I'm not talking violence. If you threaten to take away their tv time, their car, their free time through grounding, then actually do it if they break the rules. Empty threats about bad behaviour is worse than doing nothing cause its counterproductive. Teaches them to tune out what you say because there is no follow through, just a lot of hot air.

I was also my parents biggest headache growing up and they were strict with me. I needed that structure, the knowing where the boundaries are and that crossing those behavioural boundaries would have negative consequences. I'm from Malaysia where bamboo canes are grown and considered multi-purpose. Enough said But I always knew my parents loved and supported me, even when I was mad at them about the disciplining. I knew (and my kids are learning) that bad behaviour will result in negative consequences. We have lots of love in our household, but both my girls inherited my stubbornness gene, so we have to channel that away from bad behaviour and into positive purpose-driven perseverance. My children are the greatest blessings in our lives and part of my responsibility as their father is to make sure they know right from wrong and how to behave properly. There will be times of rebellion later on, I know, but laying down a good foundation now will help when they grow older and hit that rebellious stage.

And yes, I can see how my parents let their grandkids get away with stuff that we never could as kids. That's part of being a grandparent.

And yes Brad, we'll all have different opinions in 20 years. By then, they'll probably have brain implants and other behaviour-controlling gadgets

I also agree that what works for one child or parent will not work for another. My kids know that I love them more than life itself.

Cheers everyone,

Anthony

Titus - same situation here with my wife (empty threats) and myself (follow through)

[Coralgurl]

Wow, this sure has generated a lot of feedback, thanks to each of you for your comments, whether they are viewed positively or not. Each child/teenager even in the same house can not be treated the same as they all respond differently. What worked on my oldest daughter did not work on my youngest, therefore how to respond to this situation is also dependent on our boy and who he is. Belittling him, yelling is not going to do any good. He will not argue with us about this or his consequences, he's already acknowledged what he's done is very wrong and is already demonstrating a willingness to "make good". Disappointing dad is the probably the most effective gut wrenching feeling he has at the moment and dad hasn't even yelled at him. So ya, there's respect. He just doesn't have it for himself.

I have not said what he's done, I will say it was enough for the cops to come to our house looking for him and arresting him at 12:30 am. And yes there was someone who is a victim. A not so harmless halloween prank that went too far.

I was raised by extremely strict parents, my dad grew up in an orphanage in Rhodesia in the 1940's, my mom is from an abusive home. They had no parenting role models and no other family to help. I was spanked with a wooden paddle (like ping pong paddle). If we hid it because we knew we were in trouble, the spanking was worse. But it always ended with "I love you" and a hug. As a result, my brother and I both rebelled as teenagers, I was a horrible teen. My parents and I are very close now but do not agree on parenting still today, yet I have very good healthy, i know too much about my daughters sometimes, relationships with them (20 & 15). I'd say something is working. I've never spanked my girls, a swat on the bum, sure when they were younger but I found me "hitting" them, lead to them hitting others, so it stopped and other methods were used. Us 3 girls left an addictive relationship, but I have always always always been open and honest about drugs, alcohol and sex.

My step children (4 ages 21-11) are all great kids who have also dealt with some hard things and each of them has some things to work through. We will get some professional help. He stopped playing hockey this year, maybe we need a new outlet, once he's earned back his trust....

[jorjef]

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[Flash]

i like cheese..........

[jorjef]

Originally Posted by Flash

i like cheese..........

Gouda.... don't know if I like it, just like saying it....

[JDigital]

86 more mins... Today is creeping by it seems.

[The Grizz]

TFIF!!! Told my boss I was leaving early today, he told me if I leave early I was fired! So I said I QUIT, boy is he going to be screwed Monday as I am his best employee!


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[Coralgurl]

Originally Posted by The Grizz

TFIF!!! Told my boss I was leaving early today, he told me if I leave early I was fired! So I said I QUIT, boy is he going to be screwed Monday as I am his best employee!


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Someone having an identity crisis??? LOL

[lockrookie]

Not to continue the topic just read all the comments but I will be teaching my kids how to Break into cars and homes its a family business lol.


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