and i continue on, WHY??????

[Delphinus]

Just hang in there for now Colin. Having been in the situation more than once, my position on this is that this sort of thing is unfortunately inevitable. We do our best to prevent it, when it happens we do our best to mitigate the damage, we learn something to take away from it and we try again - and usually the result is something that gives you more satisfaction down the road.

In short - the downs are what accentuate the highs. Without the lows there are no highs.

Surely there are still things that are deserving of your adoration in your tank - work with those and from there work your way out. Fish? Clams? etc. Find a new happy place and from there it will get better.