You may live in Canada if

Pescador · #1 01-07-2008, 07:48 PM

Funny but true I think I scored a 100%

(Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks )

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,you may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend, you may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada

If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada

If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada .

If you find 2 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Canada

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada

Moogled · #2 01-07-2008, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pescador

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada

Hahahahahaha, TRUTH!!!

I.e, Edmonton = 3 hours; Vancouver = 11 hours; Banff = 1 hour.

steve fedyk · #3 01-08-2008, 01:02 AM

Beauty Ah, nice one liners.

vazgor · #4 01-08-2008, 04:59 AM

how can i copy this to send it to my yanky friends

TRIX · #5 01-08-2008, 12:43 PM

Highlight it. Right click. Copy. Open word or email. Paste.

Geofrog · #6 01-08-2008, 04:25 PM

"If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada"

I've done this one.

Tarolisol · #7 01-09-2008, 05:50 AM

"If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada"

Classic just classic, its so true.

Everyone of those is hilarious and true.

When i first read the heading im like damn another american trying to bash canada, but these are great. There soooooooooo true.

G1GY · #8 01-10-2008, 02:51 AM

Only in Canada.

1. Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
2. Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.
3. Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain
the pens to the counters.
6. Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and
buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

fishoholic · #9 01-10-2008, 03:26 AM

So funny and sooooooo true!

Tarolisol · #10 01-10-2008, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by G1GY

Only in Canada.

1. Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
2. Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.
3. Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain
the pens to the counters.
6. Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and
buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

I have a feeling many of these are universal.... but still funny