Tony,
Maybe one tank would suit you better. You've actually been through more crap in the last few months than I've had over the years, and I've had BAD stuff happen
None of my tanks have even been high tech, no sumps or refugiums to overflow, no auto top up things to foul up, only a skimmer that overflowed a few times.
When we set up out current three tanks, we vowed not to have anything outside our tanks that could make a mess. This means weekly water changes and other tedious maintenance, but for the most part, it is all working out well so far. While the BBs in the three tanks seem to take more maintenance, I think over the long run, we will be happy we made the change.
One good thing about the work involved in siphoning crud on a weekly basis is that my non-reef knowledgeable husband is working side by side with me on water change day. And, you know, it's brought us a little closer together and he now appreciates the love of the tanks the way I do.
Anyway, whatever you decide, please stay with the hobby in some form or other. You are a valuable member of this online community and I would truly be sad if you were to throw in the towel.
Take care.