Yes, I'm a firm believer in follow through too. If you "threaten" your child with some dire consequences for bad behaviour, follow through. Otherwise they learn that you're a pushover and that you are all talk and no action. I'm not talking violence. If you threaten to take away their tv time, their car, their free time through grounding, then actually do it if they break the rules. Empty threats about bad behaviour is worse than doing nothing cause its counterproductive. Teaches them to tune out what you say because there is no follow through, just a lot of hot air.
I was also my parents biggest headache growing up and they were strict with me. I needed that structure, the knowing where the boundaries are and that crossing those behavioural boundaries would have negative consequences. I'm from Malaysia where bamboo canes are grown and considered multi-purpose. Enough said
But I always knew my parents loved and supported me, even when I was mad at them about the disciplining. I knew (and my kids are learning) that bad behaviour will result in negative consequences. We have lots of love in our household, but both my girls inherited my stubbornness gene, so we have to channel that away from bad behaviour and into positive purpose-driven perseverance. My children are the greatest blessings in our lives and part of my responsibility as their father is to make sure they know right from wrong and how to behave properly. There will be times of rebellion later on, I know, but laying down a good foundation now will help when they grow older and hit that rebellious stage.
And yes, I can see how my parents let their grandkids get away with stuff that we never could as kids. That's part of being a grandparent.
And yes Brad, we'll all have different opinions in 20 years. By then, they'll probably have brain implants and other behaviour-controlling gadgets
I also agree that what works for one child or parent will not work for another. My kids know that I love them more than life itself.
Cheers everyone,
Anthony
Titus - same situation here with my wife (empty threats) and myself (follow through)