Quote:
Originally Posted by jorjef
Sounds like one bad decision, and if that's all it is hopefully the discipline dished out will realign his thinking. If you and your other don't feel it's enough take away the most important thing he has, a car, video games, sports etc. It doesn't need to be forever but make it sting. I always drive home big time and I mean big time reversing the situation, put him in the victims shoes and talk about how this has effected the victim. Starting in a normal talking tone, escalating volume and intensity, if they are arguing back. You need to drive the point home and ultimately if he refuses to understand smash something of his right in front of him. He will soon understand as a final insult make him clean it up. This sounds like it may border on mental cruelty but if you guys are loving and supportive parents the other 99 percent of the time it will be a good reminder for him if he decides to make another bad decision anytime soon.
Now if there was any doubt in anyone's mind before this I'm sure it will confirm to them that yes I am a little nuts  |
We all will be sitting down this weekend to discuss with him this situation. Yesterday was not the time to do it as we basically pulled an all nighter, we're tired and grumpy. At this point he has lost his most important things and won't be getting them back anytime soon. I suggested an apology to the victim, which his dad agrees should be done, but he's been ordered to not have any contact until the court date in December.
He has already acknowledged being where he was and the others involved always leads to trouble and he's not going to hang out there anymore. His mom is looking into youth counseling programs to get him some help with his self esteem issues. Remarkably, he received a progress report from school yesterday and has pulled his marks from mid 70s to mid 80s in the last month.
Is this the first time he's gotten into trouble? No. He averages 3 suspensions a year from school for fighting. 2 years ago he got caught tagging a transformer, this was a bylaw offense so he was issued a fine and court date, community service was the punishment, plus we implemented punishment at home.
Believe me, I have had my say about what I think should be happening over the years. Hopefully there's some changes. If I didn't care and wasn't supportive, I wouldn't be asking for advice.