It is a very very sad story

I have tears in my eyes while I am reading your story. I understand how you feel because I treat my fish not just as livestock, they are my pets and I love them dearly. It will be a very sad day for me if one day I have to shut down my tank for any reasons. I think they are meant to live with you, and only with you. They would rather die than to live in someone elses tank.
My condolences.