I would go with the 250s if I had it to do over again, if it is too much light you can keep the lights higher off the water.
Depends on what clams he wants to keep, Derasa will do fine under 175s, Maximas etc will like the 250 better.
I'm pretty sure your friend will get tired of the 45 long really quick it isn't the best tank IMHO because of the front to back measurements so he will probably be looking to upgrade the tank, so the extra lights will give him alot more options.
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