You can try twiddling with Durso's/Stockman's to work with the noise. I find you still need to get lucky to get the noise level to go down.
As for the sand. .. that's your call .. it will end up piling in spots and being bare glass in others. You'd have this problem if you had too much flow in the main tank, ie. not just from the sump return.
If you can live with things the way they are, great, but if you're not 100% sure I'd look at returning the pump before it's too late. 5x-7x volume turnover is all you need, so you can get away with using a smaller cheaper pump.
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-- Tony
My next hobby will be flooding my basement while repeatedly banging my head against a brick wall and tearing up $100 bills. Whee!
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