Deb, I know its hard but you can't look at your problems as a whole. You have to pick your battles one at a time. Thats what I've done with my tank and you of all people know what I've gone through as well. This hobby can be the most exciting rewarding hobby and it can also be the most frustrating pain in the arse you've ever had. I wish I could get out there and help you with this.
Ok so who cares about the flatworms, as long as they aren't eating your SPS they're not the worst of your problems. Try to siphon them out during water changes otherwise leave them unless you want to try to treat with FW Exit. The aiptasia you can try nuking with joes juice or kalk. Can you take some of the really affected rocks out and deal with them by more violent means
Man I hate aiptasia.
As for the flow in your big tank. Have you thought at all about making a calfo manifold? Its that rectangular shaped PVC pipe that has outlets at different spots along the way to provide flow in various areas of your tank using a powerful pump. It sits on the top of your tank. If you could ouftit it in black PVC it wouldn't be as unsightly and you might even be able to attach it right under the eurobracing somehow. It can be pretty difficult to provide flow in such a long tank esp one that is viewed on 3 sides and has pendant lighting. What about a couple of those really powerful Tunzes, the ones that put out 5000 gph or something? Have one at either end of the tank? (again hard to hide the cord at the one end). Maybe those Vortech pumps?
The detritus is hard to keep up with in some BB tanks. I know its the bane of my existence. I siphon it out and theres more the next day. My fish are like cows, churnin out the poop. I can't keep up with it (stinky you are NOT allowed to comment here
). You just learn to live with it I guess.
Lets face it, we're our own worst critics when it comes to our tanks. Everyone else thinks they're great but all we can see is the bad stuff that we'd like to change or problems with the tank we'd like to solve. Why not have a reef meeting at your house? At least that way people can come over and make you feel better with their praise