I don't think there is an easy answer. The whole aquarium hobby is filled with anecdotal advice and strong debates. Only a fraction of the information out there is halfway correct for the simple reason everyone's system is different and there are too many variables that can vary results or experiences.
Some basic obvious things can be 100% relied upon such as, a tank has to cycle before adding a bunch of livestock or corals need some levels of flow to survive. As soon as we start venturing away from those basic facts, there are many different opinions out there revolving around many subjects. People are really only going to rely on their trials and tribulations when giving their two cents even if literature says otherwise.
But to your point, I really think you have to take an overall perspective of what is in your tank and what is going on in your tank. Nutrients are something important to consider, but also how happy are the fish invertebrates and corals. If you set a threshold for nutrient levels ( not necessarily a set number read from the internet ), where your corals and other livestock are content with, and also how well do tankmates get along then I think you wouldn't need the internet to give you a magic number.
As long as your fish are eating and happy and not bumping into each other, and corals are doing well, I don't think you need to align your tank parameters with anything else or anyone else's tank set up.
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