Can someone please explain...
 

...how it is that marine epoxy SUCKS so much?

Things in my tank needed to be secured. Like a good little boy, I went out to the store and bought some epoxy, which stated that it was "perfect in freshwater or marine" aquariums.

I'm wondering if there's a different definition of "perfect" floating around out there? Does it include "doesn't work as advertised" and "guaranteed chunks of our $h**y product floating around your tank after all is said and done"?

This stuff didn't work at all. I even held my hand in the aquarium for 5 full minutes, pressing a monti cap frag where I wanted it to stick....and then it fell into my frogspawn colony, collapsing the whole mess onto my fungia.

So, I'm frustrated. A thousand plagues on marine epoxy! ARRRRRRGGH.

And now that I feel slightly mollified by my rant, I'd like to ask what other sane people use instead of this absolutely ridiculous product.

Oh man!!!
 

Dude-I'm sorry, but sitting here-reading your post-I am laughing my fool head off. Holy Cow!!! I know everyone who reads it is nodding their head because they know exactly what you're going through and TOTALLY feel your pain!!!

(Don't even get me started on how many times I've glued my fingers together with "quick set" epoxy that isn't as quick as it should be-until I have gotten it all over the place...in my hair...on my clothes....random pieces of furniture....the dog....It doesn't work so well on what it's supposedly for, but it'll sure stick other things together!)

You've both got me laughing!
I've been using the AquaStik Epoxy Putty by Two Little Fishies. It's not great, but it's better than anything else I've tried.

:lol: I know, it's one step above using chewing gum as an adhesive. Where's Macgyver when you need him!!

marine epoxy
 

i could never get this sh-t to work either but sphelps came over and attached my frags with the stuff no problem. i think you have to hold your tongue a certain way and pinch your butt cheeks

Damn. I was pinching the butt cheeks, but my tongue was too busy swearing.

Ahhhh
 

See, there's the problem...my tongue became glued to my teeth while I was trying to chew my fingers off of my couch.

I dunno Drew, I've used epoxy for years and swear by it. Nevr have I had an adventure like yours :)

OK, so.....as stupid as I feel asking this, maybe you can explain your technique? :)

Which epoxy are you using. There is two kinds. One is a single stick containing both parts of the epoxy. This one REALLY sucks. As soon as it hits the water it losses all its stick. The other has the two sticks of stuff that you combine. This one works much better IME, although it to has its limitations. You may need to temporarily brace the pieces over night while the epoxy hardens.