bored
 

someone entertain me :razz:

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"

A young man walks up to his Gramma and says, "Gramma, have you seen my pills? They are labelled LSD."

Gramma replies, "Never mind your pills. Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"

a pirate with a ships steering wheel down his pants walks into a bar. bartender ask "sir, why do you have a ship's wheel in your pants? pirate replies, "Arrrr, it be drivin' me nuts"

I love that one :razz:

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

Why do the drive-up ATMs have braille on their keypads?


There once was a man who went on a job interview. His resume was very impressive, and the interviewer was ready to hire the man. There was one problem. “There is a period of five years missing from your resume. What were you doing then?" the interviewer asked. The man replied, “Oh... I was in Yale"

The interviewer was quite impressed. “That’s excellent! You're hired!"
The man exclaimed, “Yippee... I got the ‘yob’!"