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LOL! SOOOOOOOO cheesy!
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A clean-cut man in glasses and a business suit is having a drink at a bar on the top floor of an hotel. Another man walks into the bar and accidentally bumps him. Glasses takes a look at the loud-mouthed new guy then shrugs like he's gonna forget about it.
Glasses comments to the bartender, "Hey, did you know that the way this building is surrounded by other high-rises causes some really wicked updrafts?" Bartender, "No, never noticed." Glasses, "Yeah, if you drop something, like a shoe out the window, it'll come right back up with the updraft." The other guy interrupts, "Bull. I'm an architect and I've never heard of such a thing." Glasses, "Ok, I'll prove it to you." He promptly walks over to the window, pushes it open, waves at the crowd & leaps out. A gasp is heard throughout the bar as everyone figures they've just witnessed a suicide. 10 seconds later, Glasses floats back up. "Holy crappers. How'd you do that?" yells loud-mouth. "Easy" states Glasses, "I'll do it again just to prove it." And out he jumps again. 10 seconds later, Glasses floats back up and lands gently inside. Loud-mouth yells, "Cool! My turn." as he pushes Glasses out of his way. "Geronimo-o-o-o-o-o!!!" he screams, all the way down till he hits pavement 40 stories down. Bartender looks at Glasses and says, "Superman. You sure are a mean drunk!":wink: Anthony |
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*sigh* You're so right.
Now I'm bored. Christy, I think it's time for you to entertain me! |
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edit: found some! :) |
At Yale University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an "A" so far. These four friends were so confident, that the weekend before finals they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying; They slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to New Haven until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final, they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire and as a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were so excited and relieved so they studied that night for the exam. The Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem, worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in a separate room, thinking this was going to be easy.... then they turned the page. On the second page was written.... For 95 points: Which tire? _________ |
A team of archaeologists is excavating in Israel when they find a cave
with the symbols of a woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David on the wall. The head archaeologist points to the first drawing. “This indicates that these people were family oriented and held women in high esteem.” he says. “The donkey shows they were smart enough to use animals to till the soil. The shovel means they were able to forge tools. Even further proof of high intelligence is the fish: If famine hit the earth, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol is the Star of David, telling us they were Hebrews.” The second archaeologist shakes his head. “Hebrew is read from right to left,” he explains. “It says, ‘Holy Mackerel, Dig the arse on that Chick!’” |
ha ha ha. nice.
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Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he politely asked, "Whatcha doing, Tim?"
"My goldfish died", replied the boy without looking up, "and I've jiust buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "Thats an awefully bug hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat." |
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