A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?”

LOL! Chin! R-rated humour is the best!

"“Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”"

That's fantastic!!! LOL!!

There are so many great golf-obsession jokes... another fave:
Kelly was a golf fanatic - so much so that it became a point of friction in his marriage. When he went out one Saturday, he was warned that they had guests coming over in the afternoon, and he had best be on time. Well, when he got home at 6, he was greeted by his very angry wife. "Wait!" he yelled back, "My friend George had a heart attack and died on the third hole!" His wife immediately began to sympathize. "I know," said Kelly, "so you can understand why I'm late! For the rest of the afternoon, it was 'hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George.'"

The real question is.....

What came first, the clownfish or the clownfish egg?

Uhh. *sigh* I try :mrgreen:

Try harder :razz:

<runs away>

Matt.... That joke was a real drag....

OOOOoooooooooohhhhh

Groan. :)


Okay, here's more R rate humor...

"Ted and Julie go to bed with one another for the first time.

Julie: I think I should warn you Ted, I've got acute angina

Ted: You're breasts aren't bad either."

lol. dirty.

Hmmph. No more entertaining Christy for ME!